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Naruto > Drabbles > Gai/Neji/Tenten/Lee, Sasu/Tsu, Kaku/Ino, Shika/Sasu, Yama/Sai, Hidan/Tobi, etc. - PSEUDONY(ME).
The only thing better than canon is crack. XD.
February 2007

Posted by pseudonyme (posted by kissing_off)
Date: 2007-02-04 20:11
Subject: Naruto > Drabbles > Gai/Neji/Tenten/Lee, Sasu/Tsu, Kaku/Ino, Shika/Sasu, Yama/Sai, Hidan/Tobi, etc.
Security: Public
Tags:character:anko, character:deidara, character:gai, character:hidan, character:ino, character:kabuto, character:kakashi, character:kakuzo, character:lee, character:neji, character:obito, character:orochimaru, character:sai, character:sakura, character:sasuke, character:shikmaru, character:tenten, character:tobi, character:tsunade, character:yamato, drabbles, naruto
Title: A Night To Remember
Pairing: Gai/Neji/Tenten/Lee
Theme: Sake under the stars
For neverbeeneasy

Neji was glad Gai didn’t remember. And he denied the night to himself.

Gai was glad Lee didn’t remember. The watering eyes of his student over the night’s injuries were too heartbreaking. That aside, Lee would be mortified to have any recollection of his passes at Neji and the fact that Tenten had topped him.

Lee was glad Tenten didn’t remember. Because, after the Neji’s rejection, he had asked her to top. How shamed she would be to have lost virginity before marriage! He stuttered at the thought.

Tenten was glad Neji didn’t remember. There was much dignity to be lost, if he were to recall the feeling of four tongue’s smashing together. But Tenten herself was glad she did. It would be worth it to spike their drinks the next time Gai took them on overnight survival training.

Title: Her Keeper
Pairing: Sasu/Tsu
Theme: Scissors
For sekiyoku

He doesn’t recognize the dying woman at his feet. Blonde hair was grey with age, the smooth skin of youth was wrinckled and sun-speckled. Scares and lacerations from battles long ago fought had resurfaced. This was death, the slow loss of one’s image, the sound of scissors clipping away at one’s being until the utmost core, truth, was left.

He feels raw. The skin was pealing from his body to expose the dank fetus of some inbred child. He was his brother’s brother, his master’s puppet, his friends enemy.

He is free. He doesn’t know how or why or if the woman at his feet was responsible. The best thing to do was lift his fist, and let her life snap – a wire between the blades.

“What are you waiting for,” she chokes through the blood, brilliant eyes skinning through furrowed skin. He thinks there is a snake-gold undertone ton their hue. “The jutsu took him into my body, Uchiha. This is my final wish, you know as well as he does. I want it to end this way.”

“You told him you wouldn’t die in battle.”

“I won’t. You were never my opponent.”

He makes sure the blade enters swiftly and the body is burned, her image to be ingrained in the minds of her people – as beautiful, powerful, and strong. Never old, softhearted, and self-destructive. He is forever the keeper of her secrets, her life, and the truths clipped out from her heart.

Title: Cut the Strings
Pairing: Kaku/Ino
Theme: String
For areku1993

“You’re my informant?” Despite all her experience as a kunoichi, Ino was caught off guard.

The man grunted and took a sip of sake, maneuvering the cup under the loose hanging mask. “I’m surprised you didn’t try to stick that kunai you’re reaching for right through my throat when you recognized me – you young ones have a lot to learn.”

Ino forced herself to take a seat at the table, her disguise – a cheep looking, satin-like skirt and revealing top, perfect for the shift envorment of the bar. “I still haven’t forgiven you for what your partener did to my sensei,” she hissed, motioning for a sake bottle of her own.

“What ever you did with Hidan I’m sure he’s regretting it,” the man said and set the cup down. “Now, half my payment before I give you any details.”

Ino huffed and held out her hand, as if to shake. The Fire Lord’s officially sealed bond passed to his faster than the normal eye could see. She dropped her hand languidly, the scroll he had given her already hidden.

“Why are you doing this?” She asked, after she had taken her first sip of sake.

Oddly accented eyes flickered and Kakuzu raised an eyebrow. “You probably don’t get it yet – too young – but after a while you get tired of the strings. Better to cut them all than stay a puppet.” For an immortal, she supposed, it was a given.

Title: Requiescat In Pace
Pairing: Shika/Sasu
Theme: Revenge
For olga_maximoff

Kakashi once told him that he would not be Sasuke. The hole left after the act would not grow and he would not be consumed alive. He still had the people who loved him and he still had his family, his village, his comrades. But despite his outward support, there was nothing for him inside. The memories of a head buried under his families lands, the laughter and smoke, and his face was beginning to fade.

So he came to Sasuke. He walked among the rotting compound, into the heart of the Uchiha, as decrepit and putrid as he had imagined. Weeds growing from the street stones, wood rotting under the rain and sun of the seasons, blood long washed away but forever stained in the inner eye.

I had though the other could fill him, give him something tangible. But they were not the same. Sasuke was still alive with hate and bitter vengeance. He had yet to loose his purpose. He had yet to accomplish his goal. He had yet to succeed.

“You won’t listen to me even if I tell you,” Shikamaru said after they fucked the first time. And the Uchiha hadn’t.

Two years later, they found him broken. When they found the body of a dead Itachi, they brought back a hollow vessel.

And then they found Naruto, Shikamaru took him to the valley where he watched the clouds, not the smoke of from the burring pyres.

“He was blind,” Sasuke said after they fucked in the grass. Shikamaru’s fist broke his jaw.

“Why are we here?” Shikamaru asked when they stood at the edge of the world, their weapons drawn and the red on black cloaks flapping against the gusty, clay bird’s wings.

“We are nothing,” Sasuke said and flicked his katana. A final prayer, blessed goodbye. Their second revenge would surely destroy them.

Title: Addicts
Pairing: Yama/Sai
Theme: Weekends
For payapayapapaya

After sex he found himself wide awake. It was a ritual of his he’d unconsciously been practicing since his teenage years – the curdling feeling in his stomach telling his he was falling into something he shouldn’t be. Because she had wanted children (and his DNA was already to warped to complete a chromosome) or because the other man had wanted nothing from it. This time he awoke only to fins the twisting torture missing.

Sai’s eyes were wide open, his face pressed into the pillow. “Do you regret this?” His monotone voice was lowered, like his eyes.

“I don’t know,” Yamato sighed, still staring at the ceiling. “Do you?”


They were now on their eternal weekend – laid off from the taste of humanity they could suck from the bonds they fought to save, faded into obscure shadows as the their triumph shined blindingly. The addition to friendship, camaraderie, and the devotion, stronger than any of the fatigue induced bloodlust or simulated smiles and laughs.

Two orphans left outside, amongst the frost, watching the people behind the glass parade and dance. Blindingly bright.

Tenzou kissed the side of Sai’s neck. Eyes closed and hands clenched onto the last pieces of their drugs, vicious junkies fighting for the last great high.

Title: Only One CLosest
Pairing: Hidan/Tobi
Theme: Nightlight
For jiah

“Does it hurt, Hidan-san?” Tobi’s voice asked through the grogginess that was anemia. Hidan drew the dagger from his abdomin, having competed his nightly ritual, he placed the knife on the ground and spared his guest a glance.

“Like a bitch.”

“Is there anything I can help you with?” The little heathen’s voice grated. Somber, eager, and ready to please in the utmost annoying way. It was a wonder the so-called artist had not blown him up yet.

“Fuck, no.” Hidan extinguished the circle and stood on wobbly legs, the pain still euphorically high. “Why the hell are you here again?” It was probably something he couldn’t remember, bloodloss had the effect sometimes. Not enough oxygen to the brain.

“Deidara-senpai, is in a bad mood and he can’t sleep if I leave the light on and since Kakuzu’s gone… Do you think Kakuzu-san would have a problem if I barrowed his bed?” The moron was staring at his empty hands like some kind of neglected puppy.

“How the hell should I know?” Hidan said, bending down to pick up the dagger. “The miser will probably bitch about ruining the value of his bedspreads or something.”

“So… You don’t think…”

“I said I don’t give a fuck!” Hidan growled and stumbled as the vertigo impacted. He stumbled and felt two hands bracing his shoulders. The heathen was fucking touching him. He violently shook himself from he grasp and tottered over to the bed.

“Do whatever the hell you want,” Hidan said, falling back against his sheets. “Just leave the lights on.” There was no point to hide the evidence of his prayers, the dark stains against the white of his sheets, all of it brining him closer.

He could hear the creak of Kakuzu’s bed and Tobi’s quickly stammered, “Thank you.”

Little, fucking moron. Of all them he was the only one Hidan would ever find closest to a possible convert.

Title: Shot the Albatross
Characters: Anko and Neji
Theme: zip lock baggies
For snapple

As with anything, there came consequences. Neji grimaced against the pungent stench of old blood and rotting flesh. The decay had set in, the body was old – one of the first death’s in the Sound attack. It had been the Hokage’s (and his uncle’s) wish that he serve under Miharashi Anko during the village restoration.

“He was a civilian,” Anko said blandly and nudged the severed head with the toe of her sandal. “Pick up the piece in these” (he was tossed a packet of small plastic bags) “the civilian authorities will want to do an autopsy – as if it isn’t apparent how he died.”

Neji reached for a dark, festering glob that he recognized as a chunk of the liver. Picking up pieces of another human, sealing them away in thin plastic bags to be prodded at and examined, never to run red with life or beat with the pulse of a heart. All the things he could see with the byakugan, suddenly still.

“It makes you wonder, doesn’t it,” Anko’s eyes shined with the glint that an aged ninja gained at the sight of death. “Will we look like this when we die. Will someone have to pick up our parts and stuff them into bags. I hope I’m incinerated on the spot. How about you?”

Death was something most ninja had come to terms with at genin level. The first man Neji killed had been an armed civilian. Blood had splattered from his lips across Neji’s face. A flash of shock, regret…

“I plan to live a while longer.”

Anko smirked and zipped her bag. “You’ll get over that soon.”

Title: Wash and Rust
Pairing: Ten/Dei
Theme: Rain
For little_yew

It came pouring from the clear sky, catching the sun it it’s decent, washing the earth, and rusting away the metallic structures of mankind. Tear-shaped drops cascading against the leaves and the bark and down her face, cleansing the blood and the dirt.

Tenten pushed her bangs back and raised her face to the cloudless blue, catching the summer surprise in her tear ducts. She could no longer see movement from the crumpled figure in the clearing. Her opponent had stayed face down.

Cautiously she approaches, sensing no chakra build up that spikes before detonation. The akatsuki member was gone, blue eyes wide open, staring eyelevel with vivid intent at the puddling ground.

“Did you ever notice,” he said suddenly, startling her into drawing a senbon. “The rain explodes when it hits the ground, un.”

“Yeah,” she grabs his shoulder and rolls him onto his back. So she can kill him properly. So she can see the face of the man who will make her a legend. “Like little exploding tags.”

“Better than that, un,” The blonde says and the rain washes away the new trail of blood from his temple. “Like little lives, like little brushstrokes joining the greater painting.” His clear eye met her gaze. “You can do it now, un. Go ahead, I’ve found my greatest masterpiece, un.”

Her hand quivered. He was a stepping stone, a path to her own masterpiece, her legend. But the rain didn’t only dilute his clay; it had rusted the urge off her weapons. She steadied her hand and the blade fell.

Title: Romantics
Pairing: Oro/Kabu
Theme: Candlelight
For darlingfox

He had never considered himself to be a romantic. The flickering candles at their dinner table cast only shadows across each their faces. The flames did not dance for their everlasting love – a concept he could analyze and never really know. Everlasting love – an idea that was trivial to beings such as themselves. They were partners for their own causes, it only helped that their ambitions were wound together like the bodies of mute lovers.

They ate in silence, an occasion that meant their situation was stable and there was no need to discuss matters at hand. A lie. The air was dense, like that which hangs between spouses with the knowledge of unfaithfulness. The smell of death.

“The search parties I sent returned,” he says without accord. “His body was found. Drowned in a river a few miles from Itachi’s known position.”

Snake-gold eyes flickers and cut his conviction to shreds. “I have been aware of his death for the last day and a half, Kabuto.”

“There are no suitable subjects, but…” He sat his hands on the table. Like a sacrificial lamb, willing to burn for this man, willing to unknot those entwined ambitions and destroy the silence between lovers. That was his love: “I am always here, Orochimaru-sama.”

Title: Her Turn
Pairing: Neji/Ten
Theme: weapons, cats, and birds
For snowyowl131

When she was asked about Neji, which happened often among the girls in her year, she would tell them what they could see. That he was powerful. That he was intelligent. That he was cold, that he had his own agenda. And they would believe her because that is what they could see.

“Did you choose weapons because you have no clan inheritance?” He once asked.

“Yes,” she had said, her finders unconsciously spinning a kunai from her satchel. “Besides, you have the bloodline and Lee has taijustsu. A weapons mistress compliments the team much better than another byukugan or taijustu master.”

It was disappointing, she often thought, that he could not see beyond the clan lines and the bars of his own self-constructed prison. He was, as he had said before, a caged bird. Something beautiful that people, such as herself, could look at and find inspiration. But she knew that she was a more than just another observer.

“Do you want to come over for dinner?” She asked after they had finished their practice It was the third time this week and she had expected that he you turn her offer down like the other two. This time he had accepted.

What else besides a cat could drive a bird from it’s cage, drive it to find that open door and fly to the highest skies? Naruto had pushed the wind under Neji’s wings, now it was her turn.

Title: End of a Fairytale
Pairing: Sasu/Saku
Theme: Blindfold
For hikari_cyhan

She imagined their reunion: She could feel herself running, her feet pushing off the ground too slowly, and the look in his eyes as her first embedded itself in his left eye socket – surprise, a flash of fear, and a tiny sheen of pride, happiness for her .

I would only be after his body spiraled into the nearest solid object that she would pick him up and hold him close to her heart, not apologizing, but crying because he couldn’t and she had build a lake of pain and fears behind her eyes.

She was not supposed to be the one to kill him.

She was not supposed to hold him after the snake gold hint had faded from his eyes. But she was the only one who could do it, not even Naruto himself could have slid the chakra induced blade through his ribs and into his right lung. She was the only one who could have done it and she did.

There was surprise, and more than a flash of fear. She liked to believe that the pride that shined under his closed eyes, but she had ripped the blindfold off her eyes years ago. Forsaken the ignorant bliss for the chance to impress him. Now she had it.

She smoothed his wet hair and dry lips kissed his forehead. She knew of the fatigues after death, but when she felt his fingers tighten around her upper arm she closed her eyes and believed it was his goodbye.

Title: The Mediator
Pairing: ObiSakuKaka
Theme: Grass
For inquisitorial

It was her first ANBU mission and their target was two hours late.

Sakura glanced between both her unmasked teammates. Kakashi’s eyes were narrowed as he scanned the gully below them – his dark eyes flickered back and forth, looking for any sign of movement. On her other side Obito hadn’t activated his sharingan yet. Her eyes returned to the gully and traced the dust road that lead through the grass, weeds, and bramble, rolling off into the round hills.

“We probably should head back,” Obito said for the fifth time. “The information must have been bad.”

Kakashi disagreed strongly, his dark eyes shifting from his teammate to the gully. “If we go back then we fail the mission.”

“We could do a lot more back at home than sitting around over here.” Obito scowled, sitting up and crossing his arms.

Sakura was vaguely surprised the two hadn’t killed each other yet. For the second time that day she found herself in the position of mediator between the two men – both of which where nearly twice her age. This time thought, she was the one who saw the flash from the treelike and grabbed both their collars dragging them down, into the depths of the grass.

“Shut the hell up, it’s an ambush,” she growled out from her uncomfortable position sandwiched between their bodies.

“I told you the information was bad!” Obito said as he rolled off of her and Kakashi grunted something illegibly, albeit unhappy.

Secretly, she was glad for the distraction. Any more bickering between the two and she would have killed them herself. She smiled and adjusted her gloves.
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Viviana: LeePants
Posted by vivianadarkwhip
Date: 2007-05-26 19:28 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
omg, much love for the Team Gai drabble!!!! I really wish I could find full length fics with all of them together. *sigh* Thank you!!!
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Winter Ashby: Naruto // Kiba/Hanabi
Posted by rosweldrmr
Date: 2008-03-23 13:12 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Naruto // Kiba/Hanabi
these are all very good.

I particularly enjoyed the Neji/Anko one and the Sakura/Obito/Kakashi

You're very talented... I think I'll peruse around and read some more.

I love crack.
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